Ah! I can’t believe I’ve forgotten to leave a comment here after I played it days ago, sorry! Anyway, I almost can’t believe how well written this is. The quips and banter hit all the right spots and I find myself snorting, unable to contain my laughter. The premise is very interesting, and you really delivered. Thank you so much for making this little gem of a jam game <3
Edit: Do you have Twitter? I’d love to give your account a follow and see what you make next!
It's quite alright, I'm in no room to say anything since it took me a couple of days to respond back. I'm honestly just glad you took the time to play it! Though the review also is wonderful! Dialogue was one of the biggest worries, I wanted to keep it natural and humor was usually my go-to, so I'm glad to hear it hit the right notes!
I do have a twitter, though I admit I'm not on it much. I should probably be using it for the jams I entered.
This is a really really interesting premise, you have a nice narrative flow and you gave so much life to you characters, it's easy to like them from the get go. Loved the interactions between the MC and Geno.
The only thing I feel like suggesting is maybe push a bit more the interactive aspect of it, maybe plitting the text in smaller segments with simple choices/inputs between them to engage the player more!
But the narrative as I said is really good, I'll look forward to what you'll do with this project!
I'm glad Geno and MC came across as well as I imagined them. Strangely enough their personalities and relationship changed as I was writing, so after a certain point, they just kind of wrote themselves.
I noticed a few reviews mentioning about interactive aspect, after rereading them over, I could see points where I can cut them up and make more choices. It's definitely worth a shot.
This was a great read for sure, and I really can't help but appreciate your writing and the humor, which definitely made me laugh a lot.
The characters, the protagonist (or well-- "pro"tagonist) and Geno were really well-thought out and it's really nice to read their interactions between both of them.
It was somewhat hard to read on full-screen since the texts were small (along with the background contrasting it). I would also suggest little things like ambient music or some visual/auditory appeals to help with immersion (though, it's nothing too bad to stress about if you're planning on it!).
But overall and so far, this was really great and you did an amazing job! Good luck on your future updates! I can't wait to see more of your developments for this game.
I was worried about Geno's and Protag's conversation a lot, I thought it was like when I have a conversation with my friend, it's funny to me but no one else. Er.. if that makes sense.
I think music would help as well, but I'm not always the best at picking out the tunes, so I'll probably have to contract out for that.
For visuals, I didn't really consider it. But, I have a idea I'll try out in a update and see how it sticks.
The text and background have been mostly reworked thanks to you and everyone's inputs, hopefully it'll be more readable this time.
I never actually tested it in full screen mode, so that one is on me. Thanks for letting me know! I'll see about changing the text size to fit any screen changes.
You have a great flair for characterization and pacing! This is def an interesting premise - although I was sad to see it hasn't gotten as far as amnesia yet. The one thing I would suggest is pushing a little more towards the interactive fiction elements, since some of the passages can get a little disconnected from that conceit without options interrupting them - even if those options don't change the story at all.
Thanks for playing and reviewing. I've seen a couple of reviews mentioning going more into interactive fiction, and stepping back, I see what you mean. I wanted to make every option branch off and affect something, that I kind of just made it into one of those, "choose your own adventure books" except less choices, rofl.
I'll see how it looks cutting it up further for more choices, before I post up the next weekly update.
If there is something I want to see in a story is well fleshed out characters and an original premise, and I'm glad that this story has both of them. The humor is also rather funny, if not dark on times.
Is it perfect? No, there some flaws there and there, the background while giving a good sense of atmosphere it makes the text hard to read at times, and we cannot forget that one typo that sneaks past production.
For your first game jam and solo project, I can say that you did a good job delivering a intriguing story and characters, and since this is a W.I.P, I'm excited to see what you will come out to expand this world you created.
Lastly, if there is something I would a tip for once you work on the full game is that any antagonists/"villains" should have a motivation behind their acts, it normally shouldn't be just "for the evulz!", unless it is an important character trait for it (example, the Joker) . However, this just my view and this is your work, not mine, so you are free to alter it whether you like.
Sorry for the long review, I just had to take it out of my chest. And good work! I give this game a 8/10 IGN points.
Don't worry about long reviews, I appreciate anything anyone wants to say about my game. Plus, It's a valid critique that gives me insight on what others see.
The characters and story telling is one of the things that hooks me into games, and I wanted to do my best to even give a faction of that in my own. I'm happy that it did come out to you, and that the humor wasn't only funny to just me.
Even to me the text was hard to read, and I know the story word to word. I'm hoping this and the next issue I could fix in the next update.
I appreciate the tip, I have a couple ideas in mind to try out and see how it goes regarding motivations. And to be honest, I'm not sure if I could write a character like the Joker. I like to think everyone has their reason for doing things.
This story is nice, interesting to see what the perspective of the "bad" guys are, since there are more stories that talk about the "good" guys. The pace is good, it's just right. The interactions that you get to have with Geno, are spaced out well too.
I'm assuming the amnesic superhero isn't part of the story just yet, but it's really good so far. One question, do they all have some type of super strength to keep going like that? At the very beginning, it does state that the suits cushion the blows, but how did the main character survive before in those situations? It's a little bit unclear at that point, but everything looks good.
You don't realize how relieving that is to hear. I was so worried that I was making them talk too much, or it was going on too long. I always like the idea of the bad guys having those normal qualities that you don't usually get to see, and how they got into this situation in the first place. I might be putting too much of my optimism through though.
Most of the super villains and superheroes have powers in this game, but the Minion does not. The idea was that they were a minion that was really low in the organization. So, they rely on the tech, team fighting, and becoming accustomed to fighting. Their previous armor usually got destroyed in the fights they had, it usually left them with injuries as a after fact. Originally, I was trying to make it into the same idea of old superhero shows where no one was truly hurt, but I started kind of going into the serious route instead.
It's something I could work on describing more, or at least putting in more hints. I was kind of riding on the first chapter being confusing, and then the second chapter clearing it all up at first, haha.. that didn't really work out as planned.
But, thank you so much for reviewing and playing the game. I really want to continue this, so all the feedback has been amazing.
hello!! found you on the game jam page :) i liked all the characters & my fave parts were the dialogue bits that you could select. real nice humour!!
just for readability's sake maybe try a higher contrast background! i know the text has borders but the sizing & length can be harder to read depending on who is playing. love the tone of the MC!!
Hello! I'm so glad to hear that, thank you so much for playing!
I hear you, this was something I was worried about as well. I tried adding shadows around the text, but it didn't work as planned. I'm thinking just putting a box around the text, or as you suggested, making the colors in the background darker for that contrast. The text size could use a update as well.. You gave me some ideas to try, thank you!
I can't exactly remember, but I think I was confused over what they were doing, until it was directly stated that they are the bad guys :) Also, that's ok! I commented on both pages as well, mainly just so your game can be boosted more on the jam page, and also so these comments stay here on this page :)
I had a feeling that would be a problem. The original idea was that it was going to start a different way, before the player becomes the minion. That's something I should slide in near the beginning now. Thank you!
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Ah! I can’t believe I’ve forgotten to leave a comment here after I played it days ago, sorry! Anyway, I almost can’t believe how well written this is. The quips and banter hit all the right spots and I find myself snorting, unable to contain my laughter. The premise is very interesting, and you really delivered. Thank you so much for making this little gem of a jam game <3
Edit: Do you have Twitter? I’d love to give your account a follow and see what you make next!
Hey Planet!
It's quite alright, I'm in no room to say anything since it took me a couple of days to respond back. I'm honestly just glad you took the time to play it! Though the review also is wonderful! Dialogue was one of the biggest worries, I wanted to keep it natural and humor was usually my go-to, so I'm glad to hear it hit the right notes!
I do have a twitter, though I admit I'm not on it much. I should probably be using it for the jams I entered.
HeyMarmalade <--
Let me know yours as well, I would love to follow too.
This is a really really interesting premise, you have a nice narrative flow and you gave so much life to you characters, it's easy to like them from the get go. Loved the interactions between the MC and Geno.
The only thing I feel like suggesting is maybe push a bit more the interactive aspect of it, maybe plitting the text in smaller segments with simple choices/inputs between them to engage the player more!
But the narrative as I said is really good, I'll look forward to what you'll do with this project!
You guys are making me so flustered!
I'm glad Geno and MC came across as well as I imagined them. Strangely enough their personalities and relationship changed as I was writing, so after a certain point, they just kind of wrote themselves.
I noticed a few reviews mentioning about interactive aspect, after rereading them over, I could see points where I can cut them up and make more choices. It's definitely worth a shot.
Thank you so much for playing and reviewing!
This was a great read for sure, and I really can't help but appreciate your writing and the humor, which definitely made me laugh a lot.
The characters, the protagonist (or well-- "pro"tagonist) and Geno were really well-thought out and it's really nice to read their interactions between both of them.
It was somewhat hard to read on full-screen since the texts were small (along with the background contrasting it). I would also suggest little things like ambient music or some visual/auditory appeals to help with immersion (though, it's nothing too bad to stress about if you're planning on it!).
But overall and so far, this was really great and you did an amazing job! Good luck on your future updates! I can't wait to see more of your developments for this game.
I'm so glad to hear that!
I was worried about Geno's and Protag's conversation a lot, I thought it was like when I have a conversation with my friend, it's funny to me but no one else. Er.. if that makes sense.
I think music would help as well, but I'm not always the best at picking out the tunes, so I'll probably have to contract out for that.
For visuals, I didn't really consider it. But, I have a idea I'll try out in a update and see how it sticks.
The text and background have been mostly reworked thanks to you and everyone's inputs, hopefully it'll be more readable this time.
I never actually tested it in full screen mode, so that one is on me. Thanks for letting me know! I'll see about changing the text size to fit any screen changes.
Thanks again for the review and for playing!
You have a great flair for characterization and pacing! This is def an interesting premise - although I was sad to see it hasn't gotten as far as amnesia yet. The one thing I would suggest is pushing a little more towards the interactive fiction elements, since some of the passages can get a little disconnected from that conceit without options interrupting them - even if those options don't change the story at all.
Hey!
Thanks for playing and reviewing. I've seen a couple of reviews mentioning going more into interactive fiction, and stepping back, I see what you mean. I wanted to make every option branch off and affect something, that I kind of just made it into one of those, "choose your own adventure books" except less choices, rofl.
I'll see how it looks cutting it up further for more choices, before I post up the next weekly update.
Thanks again!
If there is something I want to see in a story is well fleshed out characters and an original premise, and I'm glad that this story has both of them. The humor is also rather funny, if not dark on times.
Is it perfect? No, there some flaws there and there, the background while giving a good sense of atmosphere it makes the text hard to read at times, and we cannot forget that one typo that sneaks past production.
For your first game jam and solo project, I can say that you did a good job delivering a intriguing story and characters, and since this is a W.I.P, I'm excited to see what you will come out to expand this world you created.
Lastly, if there is something I would a tip for once you work on the full game is that any antagonists/"villains" should have a motivation behind their acts, it normally shouldn't be just "for the evulz!", unless it is an important character trait for it (example, the Joker) . However, this just my view and this is your work, not mine, so you are free to alter it whether you like.
Sorry for the long review, I just had to take it out of my chest. And good work! I give this game a 8/10 IGN points.
Don't worry about long reviews, I appreciate anything anyone wants to say about my game. Plus, It's a valid critique that gives me insight on what others see.
The characters and story telling is one of the things that hooks me into games, and I wanted to do my best to even give a faction of that in my own. I'm happy that it did come out to you, and that the humor wasn't only funny to just me.
Even to me the text was hard to read, and I know the story word to word. I'm hoping this and the next issue I could fix in the next update.
I appreciate the tip, I have a couple ideas in mind to try out and see how it goes regarding motivations. And to be honest, I'm not sure if I could write a character like the Joker. I like to think everyone has their reason for doing things.
Thank you so much for playing and reviewing!
Nice game! I don't have much more feedback to give, most of it's already been said - but overall I really enjoyed it :D
No worries, I appreciate the sentiment! I think I know which things you are thinking about, and I got a fix in the work.
Thank you for playing and the review!
This story is nice, interesting to see what the perspective of the "bad" guys are, since there are more stories that talk about the "good" guys. The pace is good, it's just right. The interactions that you get to have with Geno, are spaced out well too.
I'm assuming the amnesic superhero isn't part of the story just yet, but it's really good so far. One question, do they all have some type of super strength to keep going like that? At the very beginning, it does state that the suits cushion the blows, but how did the main character survive before in those situations? It's a little bit unclear at that point, but everything looks good.
You should keep going with this! :)
You don't realize how relieving that is to hear. I was so worried that I was making them talk too much, or it was going on too long. I always like the idea of the bad guys having those normal qualities that you don't usually get to see, and how they got into this situation in the first place. I might be putting too much of my optimism through though.
Most of the super villains and superheroes have powers in this game, but the Minion does not. The idea was that they were a minion that was really low in the organization. So, they rely on the tech, team fighting, and becoming accustomed to fighting. Their previous armor usually got destroyed in the fights they had, it usually left them with injuries as a after fact. Originally, I was trying to make it into the same idea of old superhero shows where no one was truly hurt, but I started kind of going into the serious route instead.
It's something I could work on describing more, or at least putting in more hints. I was kind of riding on the first chapter being confusing, and then the second chapter clearing it all up at first, haha.. that didn't really work out as planned.
But, thank you so much for reviewing and playing the game. I really want to continue this, so all the feedback has been amazing.
hello!! found you on the game jam page :) i liked all the characters & my fave parts were the dialogue bits that you could select. real nice humour!!
just for readability's sake maybe try a higher contrast background! i know the text has borders but the sizing & length can be harder to read depending on who is playing. love the tone of the MC!!
have a great day!!!
Hello!
I'm so glad to hear that, thank you so much for playing!
I hear you, this was something I was worried about as well. I tried adding shadows around the text, but it didn't work as planned. I'm thinking just putting a box around the text, or as you suggested, making the colors in the background darker for that contrast. The text size could use a update as well.. You gave me some ideas to try, thank you!
Interesting game :D I like the world and characters you made. I was a bit confused at times, but that might just be me.
Thank you for taking the time to play! I'm glad to see that there were things you liked.
If you have a minute, do you mind if I ask which parts seemed confusing? I want to review over them, and see if its the way I wrote it.
I apologize for the double messages as well, I wasn't sure if I should post on both or just one.
I can't exactly remember, but I think I was confused over what they were doing, until it was directly stated that they are the bad guys :) Also, that's ok! I commented on both pages as well, mainly just so your game can be boosted more on the jam page, and also so these comments stay here on this page :)
I had a feeling that would be a problem. The original idea was that it was going to start a different way, before the player becomes the minion. That's something I should slide in near the beginning now. Thank you!
Nice work!! I really like what you did Marmalade!!
Thank you Tabs!